Ethical Considerations for Being a Badass Motherf**ker

December 26, 2011 by
bitter-lawyer-logo

I have a friend in the business who asked about how best to become a “badass motherfucker.” He uses this phrase whenever we get around to talking about his trial work in the ERISA area, and it’s now something he is aspiring to be. I don’t know why, but it appeals to him to have that tagline on his website and to rebrand himself successfully as the “badass motherfucker” of ERISA litigation.

While I understand the basic human desire to be feared by judges and other litigants, being a badass motherfucker at trial or in practice raises some red flags, particularly ethical red flags. While the model rules of professional conduct do not specifically address being a badass motherfucker attorney, here are two key rules to consider before going through the effort of rebranding yourself as one mean hombre.
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Filed Under: Professional Development Tagged With: , ,

Tattoos to Replace Lawyer Business Cards?

April 23, 2011 by
blb-qrcode

As a resident futurist, I’m paid a paltry sum to predict things. But I typically do better than the schleps over at legal marketing and technology blog Lawyerist, who posed this question recently: Lawyers, Is It Time to Toss Your Business Cards? First of all, the answer is yes. Just yes, and most competent lawyers already knew this. But, unlike the novitiates over at Lawyerist, it’s not because of AOL, MySpace, and other more passe social media like Twitter and Quora. It’s because of a recent shift in focusing on “uber” social media, which combines the sensuality of  human skin with a conscious desire for too much information. The future of lawyer business cards? The tattoo. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Marketing Tagged With: , , ,

Appraise Your Personal Brand Using a Slide Rule

February 15, 2011 by
slide-ruler

Lawyers are obsessed with their personal brands, and for good reason. A valuable personal brand can lead to professional satisfaction, industry recognition, and lucrative GoDaddy licensing deals. But how do you value or appraise your brand? What’s it worth on Craigslist or eBay? While many marketing experts recommend that you hire a personal brand appraiser to find out, you can actually get a reasonably accurate appraisal using a simple slide rule and some numbers. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Marketing, Social Media Tagged With: , ,

How to Practice Artisanal Law

January 24, 2011 by
Artisanal Law Courtroom Practice Lawyers

Like farming, the practice of law will inevitably move into the 20th century, bringing with it innovation and intensifying pressures for efficiency. While we are big believers in innovating as soon as you have to, innovation may not always be the best choice. In fact, with the “slow food” movement and other “back to basic” initiatives such as the debtors’ prison and eradicating childhood polio, there are real opportunities today to reinvent your practice. And what better time to do so than as a slow artisanal lawyer.

What is the slow law movement and how do you become an artisanal lawyer? Good questions. Here are three key components and a short explanation.
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Filed Under: Professional Development Tagged With: ,

Top 5 Donuts for a Contemporary Practice

January 16, 2011 by
top-five-donuts

Pastries are highly functional office accessories. But with hundreds of pastries to choose from, what is best for building a modern practice? We’ve studied this issue and have talked with dozens of attorneys who think about it carefully every day. Most attorneys mention donuts as the workhorses of law firm nutrition and morale. We agree. But while some of our choices may spark controversy in the profession, here are our top five donuts to consider for a contemporary practice. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Practice Management Tagged With: , , , ,

Appify to Attract More Clients . . . Automagically

January 12, 2011 by
photo

Until recently, it’s been a well-kept secret of hobbying lawyers that the iPhone and the iPad, and maybe even the iPod Touch, are game-changers. After all, what thought-leading lawyer hasn’t been sitting in Starbucks foursquaring when a potential client comes up to her and says “OMG! I love your iPad!” or “Hey, aren’t you the mayor of Steak ‘n Shake?”

Now that the iPhone is coming to Verizon we anticipate more lawyers will upgrade from the Nokia 3210 and begin to appify their practices, thereby attracting more clients automagically. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Advice Tagged With: , ,

Attract Clients With a Crappier Avvo Rating

January 10, 2011 by
Lawyer Astronaut on the moon

You are listed in an online lawyer directory known as Avvo. Yes, you are. What’s Avvo? We recently explained it as “a site that uses fancy wind and solar powered proprietary algorithms to rate attorneys from 1-10. #manbehindcurtain.” Though Avvo’s counsel responded to clarify that Avvo uses only fossil fuels, the core of Avvo remains its ten-point rating system. Our own @gregoryluce is rated a 10, though he got that by adding all of his social media badges and answering an ERISA law question. Idiot.

But a super duper Avvo rating creates a big problem: future unrealistic expectations of clients, who essentially believe you are an astronaut. With a super duper rating, how can you deliver top-notch work for every client, every day? After all, everyone knows that attorneys do a mediocre job on their run-of-the-mill cases so as to finance their high-profile ERISA cases. But what if you are expected to provide astronaut-level service when you actually hobby in the law at Starbucks? It can be unnecessarily exhausting.
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Filed Under: Marketing Tagged With: , , , ,

Biggify Your Brand With Foursquare

January 7, 2011 by
oldschool foursquare

Foursquare is a popular location-based social application through which lawyers can “check in” to the places they go, tweet this information to their clients, and ultimately biggify their personal brands by collecting supercool badges and becoming Mayor of their favorite hotspots. (We did not make this up.)

In about four minutes, you can get your law office set up with foursquare and be on your way to pseudo-rulers of your domain or office. As a bonus, you can also get Starbucks coupons if you drink enough triple venti mocha lattes, or whatever they’re called. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Advice Tagged With: , ,

I’m Linkbaiting and You Don’t Know It

January 2, 2011 by
bingo

The linkbait post, a secret everyone except lawyers has known about since 2004, will become a big deal for the lawyers who discover blogging this year. What’s linkbait? Well, let me explain.

The only way to get clients today is to appear at the top of Google search results. The best way to get there is by hiring a social media strategist and brand evangelizer like myself. If you could afford me, for example, I’d advise you that you need SEO, which you could have learned from Twitter in ten minutes. I’d then say some gobbledygook about ROI and engagement and then mention that you need links to your site. Specifically, I’d tell you to pay me so I could pay other people to link to your site. If that doesn’t work, we’d both agree that your posts suck and are too substantive. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Computers Tagged With: , ,

Key Olfactory Considerations for Your Practice

December 27, 2010 by
pigsnout

There are a lot of things to consider when setting up and running your law office. But one oft-overlooked consideration is the olfactory brand you want to impress upon your clients. In other words, how do you make your office emanate confidence and competence? We’ve been advising attorneys on this issue for years. Yet, despite our advice, it’s still an issue that few attorneys understand, let alone address. We hope to change that with our few simple and easy-to-remember tips and considerations.
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Filed Under: Marketing Tagged With: , , ,