Blawgging and trolling are similar to war and warfare, though without weapons, combat, battleships, air strikes, refugees, camouflauge, injuries, and casualties. Often, on account of the need to maintain a degree of anonymity and intimidation, blawggers adopt a nom de guerre, a clever French phrase that looks sophisticated when italicized but generally means “war name.” Great blawgging nom de guerres have burnished reputations (Chank Peters is a prime example). But others have ruined careers. Here are five nom de guerres to avoid.
Subcomandante Alan. Subcomandante is a wicked cool prefix for a nom de guerre. Just don’t ruin it with your real name, such as Bob, Gary, or Susan. Subcomandante does not work unless you have an exotic sounding Latino name. And if you make that up, you’re just a poser.
Pussy Galore. She was a Bond girl, not a freedom fighter. It doesn’t inspire fear and intimidation. Especially avoid if you are a male blawgger.
El Guano. Hundreds of blawggers have made the mistake of adopting El Guano as a nom de guerre, usually on the advice of a fly-by-night nom de guerre coach. This nom de guerre was obviously intended to be El Guapo, meaning the handsome one, a decent but somewhat impotent nickname. El Guano, however, refers to the excrement of cave dwelling insectivorous bats, seabirds, and seals. Avoid.
General Tso. You are not referring to a war general or any general here. It’s Chinese food unheard of in China. Would only intimidate Canadian blawggers.
Leroy Jenkins. Most blawggers over 30 won’t know anything about Leroy Jenkins. But it’s best to avoid this as a nom de guerre, unless you want to be known as the lawyer who single-handedly fucks up a highly sophisticated litigation strategy and trial plan.
With a good nom de guerre, you can enhance your blawgging career, intimidate opponents, and pretend you are at war. But pick a good one. A badly chosen nom de guerre can end your career early. Be careful out there.
