With the increasing use of new media by lawyers, the task of keeping legal briefs interesting and persuasive can be a challenge, even to lawyers with major Klout. Nevertheless, subliminal hashtagging could be the next new trend in the law, particularly in the coming year.
If you have not yet microblogged, a hashtag is a number symbol (#) followed by a string of letters and numbers that usually make sense. The hashtag is included at the end of a micropost to keep things fun and to make you trendy and influential. Although the FCC banned the use of subliminal messages in advertising in the 1970’s, the use of subliminal hashtags in legal briefs remains #A-Okay.
Sure, the first instance of using a hashtag in a legal brief ultimately was a typo and no one has since revisited the power and efficacy of hashtags. That will change. Here are our Top 5 suggested subliminal hashtags for the coming year.
1. #FTW This hashtag is slick. Short for “For The Win,” don’t confuse FTW with #WTF, which is a commonly used acronym for “What The Fuck.” Use FTW as a subtle persuasive technique to convince a judge that your argument determines the outcome of the case. Example usage: “In the instant case, the Eighth Circuit has held that the state may forcibly inject a nondangerous citizen with mindaltering antipsychotic drugs for the sole purpose of making him competent to stand trial on fraud charges. #FTW”
2. #diggit A play on words traditionally coined by users of the social bookmarking service Digg, this hashtag can be used satirically to enhance particularly dull points in your legal argument or seriously to accentuate the brilliance of your legal research. Example usage: “In United States v. Brandon, 158 F.3d 947 (6th Cir. 1998) the Sixth Circuit agreed with the Bee court that a pretrial detainee has, among other interests, ‘a First Amendment interest in avoiding forced medication, which may interfere with his ability to communicate ideas.’” Brandon, 158 F.3d at 953. #diggit”
3. #foshizzle While at first glance foshizzle may signal that your argument has powerful street cred, it is actually much more subtle when used properly. In its simplest use, foshizzle impresses your client with aggressive “in your face” advocacy. But foshizzle actually signals to a judge that a particular argument, which you feel compelled to make by request of the client, sucks big time. Example usage: “Though petitioner was born, raised, and resided in the State at the time of the incident, he has disclaimed United States and Michigan citizenship and thus requests to be treated as ‘Foreign’ and a ‘Non-Resident Alien’ #foshizzle.”
4. #notreally One of the most popular and snarky hashtags on Twitter, a conjugation of the words “not” and “really,” can be useful if you want to test whether the judge has read all the way to page 30 of your brief. Example usage: “The right of a person to liberty, autonomy and privacy over his or her own thought processes is #notreally situated at the core of what it means to be a free person.”
5. #w00t This just gets people excited about stuff. It’s important to note the double-zeros, as using regular old small cap 0’s just isn’t as trendy, interesting, or persuasive. Example usage: “The Department of Defense’s Joint Non-Lethal Weapons Directorate (JNLWD) is exploring the use of various pharmaceutical psychoactive ‘calmative’ agents in a number of contexts, including civilian crowd control by blanket sedation. #w00t”
Which hashtags are you successfully (or unsuccessfully) subliminating into your legal briefs? As this trend develops, we are eager to hear your ups and downs on this. Submit them here or in the comments below and we’ll provide a reference list later to use as you draft important court documents.
I like to use hashtags ironically, in order to signal that this particular thought is either so patently obvious it hardly needs saying or so completely obscure it hardly merits saying.
In other words, the hashtag signals that I am cooler than you, bitchez.
Charlie, thanks for weighing in on what I anticipate will be an important issue in 2011. You’re a real thought leader! I’ve been mulling this over all morning, but I’m not too bright. Is #bitchez the hashtag you use? Or are you subliminally calling me a bitch and keeping the secrets of hashtaggage success to yourself? You’re gonna really have to spell it out for me and some of the other folks here. Many of our readers still think hash tags have something to do with Mary Jane. If you could devise a PowerPoint presentation or a color-coded Excel spreadsheet for reference, that would be helpful. Thanks in advance.
I’m an HR director at a midsized law firm in Boise. Any suggestions for subliminating the hashtags #FAIL or #EPICFAIL into my interoffice correspondence?
Wanda, thank you for your question. As someone who has never worked in HR but who has received a plethora of dull memoranda from various HR directors past and present, I do have some suggestions. However, as my reply will be quite lengthy, I will address this in a separate post. Feel free to subscribe to our RSS feed thingy to be notified when I get around to writing it. I don’t use RSS personally, but I’ve heard it’s a good way to find out about new stuff being posted to blogs if you’re not on Twitter.
Is there a way to subscribe to new posts by mail?
Email or snail mail? You can indeed receive new posts by email. We are working to implement a system in which readers may subscribe by fax or snail mail but have not yet found an affordable vendor. Stay tuned.
Amy, please fax Ms. Datcierski the last 10 posts. Thanks — Chank
Amy,
I had a very different understanding of the acronym “FTW”, which would give a very different meaning. It’s much closer to “WTF” than “For the Win.” Another related hashtag would be #FML, but that probably doesn’t have much use in a brief.
Perhaps one could slip in a snarky perspective such as “Defendant, in his Motion to Dismiss, suggests that Plaintiff’s claim is specious. #AsIf.”
Rick, I think you’re onto something here with the #AsIf. And you raise a valid point about the multiple meanings and therefore possible ways to interpret, and potentially misconstrue, a hashtag. What do you think about adding a small “Key” or “Legend” or “Glossary” section toward the brief’s conclusion — a sort of Decoder Ring, if you will, to help hash out any tag misunderstandings? #win or #fail?
Perhaps we could get them in more surreptitiously with Latin; it still has legal cred, no? Follow every restatement of OC’s absurd assertions with #QUASI.
Footnotes, perhaps; they have such a Law Review feel to them in a brief.
I tried to add a latin hashtag to this post, but it was outvoted by the mastermind subcommittee and replaced with #foshizzle. Chank has issues. But don’t tell him I said that or he’ll fire me (again). This convo is private, right?
Amy, please fax the last ten posts to Mr. Rutledge. Thanks. Chank
Attorney-client privilege is yours to assert or waive. Nobody hears a word of this from me.
I agree with #whatsherface above. You can’t have a Top 5 hashtag list without either #epic #fail #win or a combination of epic and one of the others. Thus, I am without recourse and have to give this post an #epicfail.
This coming from the person who pioneered the art of subliminal hashtagging among the legal circles on Twitter and who invented thought. So you best believe it. #posers
Dearest Alfred, I also neglected to give you credit for inventing the word #w00t. You did invent it, right?
I would respond with #foshizzle but that’s so #2005. So I’ll simply say #word.
#FML #worstjobieverhad
Could someone clue me in on #FML? I’m confused.
Chank, #FML = fuck my life. Not to be confused with #FMW = fuck my wife. Please do not hesitate to contact me via interoffice intercom if you have further questions or there’s anything else I can do for you.
Hashtags are the Greek Chorus of Twitter. Therefore, no top 5 is complete without one Greek word or another. I only know the Greek words for nose and apple. I’m not sure either of these make good hashtags.
Jeena,
Thank you for a most excellent suggestion. I do not know Greek, but I hear that Google is helpful in these sorts of situations. I will re-review our multimedia guide to finding things with Google and get on this. Meanwhile, any Greek words you know… feel free to share either here or via Twitter. I’m sure no one else will know what they mean anyway.
Thanks for the suggestions. I dabbled in Greek while in law school, until I realized that many of the words were in English. Anyway, I believe apple is eíste éna gaïdouráki, which would be #eísteénagaïdouráki as a hashtag. While it’s rather long, I think people should be able to understand it or at least feel intellectually inferior. I know I do just looking at it. I’d give it a try.