My marketing colleagues are full of things to say, and they usually say these things a lot. They are currently doling out advice on how to stay “on target” and “focused.” Good advice, but in reality most super-focused lawyers don’t have any friends. Worse, trying to stay on target or focused usually leads to your iPhone ToDo app reminding you that you’re screwed, though it will do so in beautifully designed and color-coded detail. Stop. Seriously. Stay sloppy and unfocused. Here’s how.
Drink White Russians While Hot Tubbing
For those who have taken our advice to establish an office bar and an office hot tub, this one’s easy. Make a White Russian, slip into the hot tub with your iPhone, and tweet that you made a White Russian and you’ve slipped into your the hot tub with your iPhone. Better yet, get out of the hot tub without a towel and walk over to your desk, naked. Sit down on the discovery you plan to send opposing counsel and aimlessly rifle through the latest stack of Westlaw pocket parts on your desk. For kicks, call opposing counsel and hang up when she answers. That feeling of giddiness never goes away.
Fauxtask
Fauxtasking, what the less trendy call faux multitasking, is a great way to stay unfocused while looking extremely busy. Luckily, the best way to fauxtask is to read advice about how to be focused and productive. Just this last week, we’ve:
- learned what to do with the last five minutes of the day;
- make SMART goals;
- learned to move around to stay focused; and
- read about what to do when your butt itches (that’s actually one of ours).
As a result, we now know we should make a SMART goal to move around and scratch our butts during the last five minutes of the day. See how this works?
Typeface
Few things are as unfocused as mucking around with the typeface to use in your correspondence or briefs. Start with Times New Roman, then mess with the entire Gothic family, moving on to Dingbats when you get bored. Don’t mess around with Comic Sans, as there has been a bunch of noise about it lately and we’re guessing it’s no longer an acceptably cool typeface.
Bill Yourself
Nothing is as sloppy and unfocused as time-based billing. To increase your unfocused time, bill your unfocused time to yourself in six minute increments every day, even producing a daily invoice to mail to your home address. Not only will you spend unfocused time thinking about how else you should bill yourself, you’ll also have a great daily record of all of your unproductive time. Ironically, you can then bill your clients for the hours you were not billing yourself, simply putting “Focus Time!” as the description on the bill.
Once you free your mind from focusing, staying sloppy and unfocused becomes second-nature. Try it today. Dump the ToDo app. Start reading productivity and marketing blogs like this one. Bill yourself for your unfocused time. And let us know how you do, how much you owe yourself, and what tips or tricks we may have missed.
Do you have any advice on how to stay focused while reading motivational drivel about how to stay focused? My lifecoaches tell me this is my main self-erected barrier to success.
Self-erection is really not our forte. Sorry about that. I’ll ask Amy Derby to answer this question, though, as her title includes Brand Evangelist.
I recommend a masturbatorium, preferably one without Internet access.
More importantly – what music does one have blasting while in the office hot tub drinking White Russians?
Personally, I like Gilbert O’Sullivan’s Alone Again (Naturally). It’s on the Himself album.