Big Legal Brain is pleased to announce that it is a Gold Corporate Partner of the first-ever Summer Festival of Lawsuits. Known informally as “SuitFest 11,” the Summer Festival of Lawsuits is will bring lawsuits to lower-tier legal communities. Here’s what’s currently in the works.
Defamation Tent. Show your festival bracelet and step up to the microphone to let loose a stream of obscenities, maliciously false statements, and a boatload of untruths. We’ll help you enter the name and email address of the person being defamed, who will receive immediate notice of your statements, together with a .wav file that they can play on their computer. Plus, the defamation is broadcast over festival grounds. Lawyers standing by can then bid directly on providing defamation defense. Better yet, a direct link containing a coupon code for Shpoonkle and other online bidding services is sent to the recipient. Comes with free beer, liquor, and all-you-can-eat beef jerky.
Drunk Blawging. With free beer and liquor provided next door in the Defamation Tent, get totally soused and stumble a few extra steps into the Drunk Blawging booth. With two hundred computers connected to the internet as well as 75 iPads for rent, start a blawg by typing and publishing on anything that comes to mind. Need an idea? We’ll have a list of the top 50 topics to blawg about, together with a step by step guide on how to sound powerful but say little. Or follow our “Troll Guide” to post comments on blawg posts that we identify, with links back to your own drunk blawging site.
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- Toledo, Ohio: July 25
- Springfield, Missouri: July 27
- Tulsa, Oklahoma: July 28
- Denton, Texas: July 29
- Lancaster, California: July 31
- Bend, Oregon: August 1
- Pocatello, Idaho: August 3
- Des Moines, Iowa: August 4
- Huntsville, Alabama: August 7
- Poughkeepsie, New York: August 9
Dog Bite Fiesta. We’ve got some great yippy Chihuahaus that will piss off any big dog that walks within ten feet of the Dog Bite Fiesta area. You provide the big dog. We provide bystanders eager to sue and willing to take a bite for the law. Lawyers are also standing by to offer help, bandages, and business cards.
Slip and Fall Zones. We’ll have at least three sponsored zones with various “slip and fall” materials, such as broken grape jelly jars, busted cantaloupe, and spilled dishwashing liquid. Walk down simulated grocery store aisles and see what happens. Bonus round for those who don’t slip: a malfunctioning hot coffee maker that spills scalding coffee on you no matter how hard you try to pour a regular cup. No waivers allowed and personal injury attorneys standing by. We are well-insured!