Like me, you’ve steadfastly collected iPads since they first started filtering out of China in 1998 or so. Now, you’ve got first generation, second generation, and woefully old third generation iPads, all of which are looking decrepit, slow, and worn. I don’t know about you, but I’ve recently had my fill of tripping over used iPads as I enter an office building or try to maneuver around trash cans at legal tech conferences. Now, to make matters worse, Apple releases the Mini iPad, making your half-dozen or so used MaxiPads look like, well, a Wang mainframe from 1973. Lawyers are now pestering me with questions about what to do with their used MaxiPads. Here’s basically what I tell them.
Wear It With a Support Belt
If like us you’ve already purchased a dozen of the cute little mini iPads, you’ll realize right away that they are smaller than old MaxiPads. A lot smaller. Which makes them smaller versions of the bigger version. That’s cool—because they are smaller. And highly portable, unlike the monstrous MaxiPd that is practically the size of a horse. With a few adjustments, however, you can still wear and carry that MaxiPad around with comfort and ease—and with a bit of style. Consider using a MaxiPad support belt, long available in the market, though primarily marketed for women. Men and lawyers (as well as men who are lawyers) are primed to reinvigorate the maxipad support belt market. And old iPads are just the thing to jumpstart that movement. We recommend the Hickory Belt, the Kotex featherweight belt, or the New Victoria Protector, all longtime industry leaders and thoroughly tested since at least 1940.
Throw Them Away
Honestly, once you have a smaller version of the bigger version of the iPad, why keep a used one around? They look ragged, have fingerprints on them, and are probably unhygienic at this point. Throw them away. They are practically worthless and may even lead to professional ridicule if you haul one out at a deposition and cause injury to those around you. So, next time you attend a CLE or legal conference, just dump your MaxiPad ceremoniously in the garbage bin or drop it on the floor with all the other used ones scattered about. Believe me, you’ll be seen as a pioneer, not an industrial polluter.
Donate Them to Third-World Countries
One of the biggest concerns facing countries like Africa and sub-Saharan Asia is the complete lack of sanitary, working MaxiPads. Sure, elites in these countries may have access to a first generation device, but those are practically useless and weigh up to forty-two pounds when fully loaded with apps. Think instead about the masses of people in Third-World countries without any technological advantage other than, say, a first-generation Kindle—people who have never experienced the touch screen magic of an iPad nor felt the thrill of slicing fruit in Fruit Ninja or delivering candy to a frog in Cut the Rope. Pack up your half dozen or so used MaxiPads in a box, address it to “Africa” and send them on their way. They’ll get there. And it will make all the difference to villagers in rural Tanzania and New Zealand.