As a lawyer who likes to eat lunch on most days, I got a shocking email last week asking me to give up my Chipotle Chicken Burrito Bowl in order to pay for Yiddish-focused online marketing. As you may have guessed, it came from our pals over at the Yiddish-language attorney referral service known as Shpoonkle. Turns out, our buddies at Shpoonkle are now going to start charging me the cost of my burrito bowl (and two large Cokes, a side of guac, and two orders of chips and salsa) in order for me to continue bidding on legal services for anonymous clients.
Here’s part of the email Shpoonkle sent to me announcing the change, which was thankfully translated into English:
As an internet savvy attorney, you know that the use of traditional advertising and online marketing is very expensive and often unproductive. The use of Google Ads and other online marketing for referrals can be extremely costly.
We are offering existing members deep discounts on membership. The pricing is based on your geographical location and practice area. Additionally, we will be limiting the amount of attorneys in each of these areas.
The discounted cost for you as an existing attorney member will be less than you spend on lunch, a modest $16.33 a day. This is a fraction of Google Ad Words or other advertising and marketing campaigns.
Get access to real people who need your help NOW.
Free access to Shpoonkle has been discontinued and you have 72 hours to accept this greatly discounted rate.
To insure the continuity of your membership and take advantage of this limited time discounted enrollment offer, please send us the best time and number to contact you within that period.
Sure, I appreciate being recognized for my internet savviness. But to dump me off my free Shpoonkle account so unceremoniously with only three days notice? And then ask for $16.33 per day? If I do my math correctly, that’s about $500 per month and $6,000 per year. Or, to put it more bluntly, it’s about 750 braised carnitas burrito bowls for lunch over the course of a year. That’s a lot of pork.
Already, hundreds of lawyers have faxed me to ask if it’s worth giving up their lunch money to keep on Shpoonkling. My answer is a qualified but emphatic “Yes.” Here are the three primary tips to consider:
- Downsize to Stouffer frozen food dinners and bring them to the office to heat in the microwave for lunch. We recommend either the Creamed Chipped Beef or Cheesy Spaghetti Bake entrees. At about half the cost of a fully loaded lunch at Chipotle, you’ll still be able to eat AND bid for potential clients;
- Master the supplemental exercises in our highly-acclaimed Shpoonkle for Dummies. Pay special attention to the section on how to bid on your own services to increase their net worth;
- Pass the cost on to your client as a required “Shpoonkling Fee.” Most clients will understand or, if they don’t, send them an extra Stouffer’s frozen dinner you may have hanging around. Clients love freebies, even if they’ve thawed out by the time they are delivered.
Good luck. As with any legal marketing disrupters like Shpoonkle, this move will invite competition. Don’t be surprised if Chipotle sees an opportunity in this one and starts offering online legal bidding while you wait for your bowl to be assembled.