Big Legal Brain’s Not-So-Sucky Valentine’s Day Contest

Those of us in the office this morning were chugging Red Bulls and trading stories of sucky Valentine’s Day celebrations when Amy said, “hey, let’s have a contest.” We all thought it was a stupid idea until Chank said he liked it. Then we all thought it was awesome, even Ninja Dog. That’s how office politics work.

So, here’s the contest: find the best Valentine-themed reported court case out there. The best one, and we’ll be the judge. Need an example? Hricko v. State is probably the gold standard. It’s a case of a Valentine’s Day murder, complete with arson, poison, a dinner theater mystery, and a judge who knows how to quote Hamlet, Anna Karenina, and Don Quixote, among others. It’s also now been taken, so look for a different one. Be creative. It doesn’t even have to mention or be anything about Valentine’s.

The prize? A twenty dollar Starbuck’s gift card, delivered electronically. Serious. You deliver, we deliver. But we’re the final judge. Period. No lawyering up and getting all snickety. So, send us your case in the comments below or email it to Chank at [email protected]. Happy Not-So-Sucky Valentine’s Day! And here’s some motivation from Judge Moylan in the Hricko case:

Taking that version of the facts most favorable to the State, what unfolds is the melodrama of an estranged wife, desperate to free herself from a marriage gone stale, leaving a trail of false clues and staging her husband’s death so as to make it appear a random accident. As with ‘The Murder of Gonzago’ in Hamlet or ‘Pyramis and Thisbe’ in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, there is within this real-life drama a play within a play. In the real-life drama, the husband was lured to the scene of his fatal poisoning by the reconciliatory promise of a romantic St. Valentine’s weekend at the Harbourtowne Resort in St. Michael’s. A highlight of the getaway weekend was a dinner-theater murder mystery which the dinner guests were invited to solve. That play within a play was called ‘The Bride Who Cried.’ Our real-life drama may well be called ‘The Widow Who Lied.’