Shpoonkle to Sell Chicken Burrito Bowls

shpoonkle-dummies-small

As a lawyer who likes to eat lunch on most days, I got a shocking email last week asking me to give up my Chipotle Chicken Burrito Bowl in order to pay for Yiddish-focused online marketing. As you may have guessed, it came from our pals over at the Yiddish-language attorney referral service known as Shpoonkle. Turns out, our buddies at Shpoonkle are now going to start charging me the cost of my burrito bowl (and two large Cokes, a side of guac, and two orders of chips and salsa) in order for me to continue bidding on legal services for anonymous clients.
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Keys to Making an Awesome Website Totally More Awesomer

totally-more-awesome-website

As most modern lawyers know, three things make or break your practice: 1) your logo; 2) your website; and 3) your font. We’ve covered logos and fonts and need to spend much more time on websites. Even if your law firm website is already full of awesome, there are still tricks to make it totally more awesomer. Here are some of those tricks.
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Key Essentialities for Building a Bullshit Brand

Big Legal Brain Branding and Optimization

New lawyers today may not understand how to practice law but they sure understand how to rock an awesome meme. Or build their brand, as they say. The Big Legal Brain Brand-Building and Website Optimization team has been raking in portions of bar-study loans lately to help new lawyers build those brands. After six months of doing so, we’re experts and can now provide solid advice on the essentialities of a good brand-building effort.
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Last Second Christmas Gifts for Colleagues and Clients

Happy bacon

If you are like us, you are sitting around today wondering where everyone is and why no one is sending out faxes. 0r responding to your own. And then you realize it’s Christmas Eve. In other words, you forgot to send out Christmas e-cards, failed to order any Hickory Farms Gourmet Summer Sausage gift boxes, or didn’t even send a Blockbuster gift card to any of your clients or colleagues. Don’t fret. According to our office clock right now, it’s 1:37 p.m. on Christmas Eve. You are still in luck. Here’s what to do.
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Increase Blog Traffic by Writing in Chinese

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欢迎您,良好的中国人,大的法律脑。我们是世界上律师事务所的执业管理和法律营销的权威,就如何优化您的律师事务所,并提高您的法律写作的技巧。虽然我们已经连接的人讲世界语意第绪语有点拨弄,和早些时候收购了拉脱维亚法律的幽默网站,我们从来没有尝试成功地聘请3万亿在中国生活的人。到现在为止。

我们很高兴看到这一难得的机会。根据我们的研究,具有高达3万亿农民,村民和城市的乡亲从中国所有的地区,这是近6万亿眼睛在网上冲浪每天。即使会计一只眼睛或两只眼睛失明的人,仍然很多法律脑大眼睛广告页面浏览量—如果我们可以得到一半的那双眼睛的百分之一。做数学,页面访问量每天约600万。一吨多有机谷歌流量比Findlaw。甚至超过Cracked.comFark。在这样一个速度,我们将战胜降低的酒吧和Pamby娇媚,似乎得到所有的blawgging关注和奖励。的确娇媚Pamby。

你可能会问,什么是大的法律脑?法律脑大律师,村民,和自己一样的农民提供尖端的法律实践管理的意见。我们最好的工作,包括律师和如何提高企业盈利厅酒吧的热门采购理念。作为我们想告诉人们,“我们认为你的做法,所以你不必。”这是一个伟大的标记线和捕捉我们的本质。

我的大法律脑SuperMayor。作为一位独奏律师,现在是营销大师,我的建议能够超越文化和中国农民和其他专业人士提供实用的智慧和意见。格雷戈里卢斯是我们居民的实际未来学家。他想到的事情发生后,想明天,。给我们一个机会。所以,按照我们在Twitter或类似我们在Facebook上。我们将不辜负中国。

[toggle title_open="Results Not Warranted or Guaranteed" title_closed="Translation to English via Google Translate" hide="yes" border="no" style="white" excerpt_length="0" read_more_text="Read More" read_less_text="Read Less" include_excerpt_html="no"]Welcome, good Chinese, a large legal brain. We are the world to practice law firm marketing management and legal authority on how to optimize your law firm, and improve your legal writing skills. Although we have connected people speak Esperanto, Yiddish a little fiddle, and the earlier acquisition of the Latvian legal humor site, we do not attempt to successfully recruit 3 trillion people living in China. Up to now.

We are very pleased to see this unique opportunity. According to our research, with up to 3 trillion farmers, villagers and city folks from all areas of China, which is nearly 6 trillion eyes a day surfing the web eyes. Even accounting for the blind in one eye or the blind in both eyes of people, the brain is still to get all legal advertising page views—if we can get half of one percent of eyes. Do the math and page views a day, about 6 million big. Google a ton more traffic than organic Findlaw. Even more than Cracked.com or Fark. In such a speed, we will vanquish and conquer the lower bar and Pamby charming, seems to be all blawgging attention and reward. Indeed, charming Pamby.

You may ask, what is the big legal brain? Legal counsel brain, the villagers, as the farmers and their cutting-edge legal practice management advice. Our best work, including lawyers and how to improve the profitability of the business purchasing the popular concept of the law Office bar. As we want to tell people, “We think your approach, so you do not have to.” This is a great tag line and capture the essence of us.

I am a big legal brain and purple SuperMayor. As a solo attorney, now is my marketing guru, my suggestions to transcend culture and Chinese farmers and other professionals to provide practical wisdom and advice. Gregory Luce is the people’s real futurist. He thought of things to happen, I want tomorrow. Give us a chance. So, as we like in our Twitter or on Facebook. We will not live up to China.[/toggle]

Build a Four-Figure Law Practice Using Esperanto

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[dropcap]L[/dropcap]awyers today are looking for an edge to get ahead and to start breaking into regular four-figure annual incomes. And with dozens of people around the world learning and speaking Esperanto, it’s a great opportunity to incorporate an international language into a small practice, especially if it ultimately pays dividends. With just a few tips and with daily practice in front of the mirror, you can master Esperanto within a few weeks. But here are a few things to remember before you get started. [Read more...]

Keys to Building an Awesome Door-to-Door Law Firm

Door-to-Door Law Salesman

Admittedly, I have not looked at the ethical rules since 1987. So, I’m sure things have changed. Like solicitation of clients. Last time I looked it was a no-go, at least for soliciting people at the pool or in the sauna. Given that it’s nearly twenty-five years later and we have MS-DOS and fax machines, there’s really no need to read the rules. I’d be shocked if the powers that be over at the American Bar Association have not nixed the previous prohibition of in-person solicitation of clients. Which gets me to my point: lawyers are missing a huge opportunity for increased business by ignoring door-to-door sales. That’s too bad. If you have a strong sales demeanor, a solid aptitude for rejection, and good Rockport shoes, here are our top sales tips for building a door-to-door law firm.

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The C. Hank Index Metric for Professionals

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When we wrote about using the slide rule to calculate your personal brand, we never anticipated such an overwhelming response. Our affiliate income from House of Slide Rulers has been phenomenal. Recognizing an obvious and crying need for calculating things, we are excited to announce today the availability of the C. Hank Index Metric for Professionals, or CHIMP for short. [Read more...]

Tattoos to Replace Lawyer Business Cards?

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As a resident futurist, I’m paid a paltry sum to predict things. But I typically do better than the schleps over at legal marketing and technology blog Lawyerist, who posed this question recently: Lawyers, Is It Time to Toss Your Business Cards? First of all, the answer is yes. Just yes, and most competent lawyers already knew this. But, unlike the novitiates over at Lawyerist, it’s not because of AOL, MySpace, and other more passe social media like Twitter and Quora. It’s because of a recent shift in focusing on “uber” social media, which combines the sensuality of  human skin with a conscious desire for too much information. The future of lawyer business cards? The tattoo. [Read more...]

Boost Your Web Site with Cheesy Stock Images

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A number of attorneys have thought about having a law firm web site. For those that do not yet have a web site, or for those thinking about enhancing their current site on Yahoo, deciding on appropriate images can be an initial stumbling block. It doesn’t have to be, especially with the wealth of information and millions of stock images available. If you are stumped by picking an image for your site, here are four key image categories that can provide that oft-missing Wow factor from many law firm websites today. [Read more...]